Sunday, January 31, 2010

Booty Text

So I received a "booty text" Thursday night. WTF?
This guy on my floor came into my room Tuesday as I was getting ready to go to sleep. He confessed that he likes me. My reaction was like...okay...
Then he asked me to eat dinner with him on Thursday night, which I did. Dinner was okay. Nothing special. I am not into him at all so there wasn't firework or anything crazy like that.
Later that night he came into my room again...we ended up talking for 3 hrs. It was okay. We talked about really random things that I forgot already. He went back to his room at 1:30am. WAYYY past my bedtime.
I received a text at 2am, "So I really want to kiss you."
Me: "I don't know what to say to you...."
Him: "Come to my room."
Me: "....."
Him: " I really want to kiss you."
Me: " I only kiss guys who I like and know very"
Him:" Kissing is part of getting to know someone. I promise it'll be fun"
Me: "Well, I have to go to sleep. Good night."

WTF, why would he think I would kiss him....? Wtf. I know it's just kissing but I even take that seriously. Unless I like a guy very much I wouldn't do it. In fact, I have only kissed/made out with three guys in my life. The first two guys were guys I dated in high school. The last one was well....let's just say I got very drunk the night of Rutgersfest. LOL
I am so mad. Ever since I ended things with my highschool "bittersweet heart",I haven't had any luck with guys that I actually wouldn't mind dating. Granted, there have been a good number of guys that went after me in the past 2 1/2 yrs, I DIDN'T/DON'T LIKE ANY OF THEM, for very good reasons. The attention I received from those guys was more annoying rather than flattering. FML.
Sometimes I think the loneliness is really getting to me because I have been single basically since college. I really miss the feeling of having someone. I miss it so much that...I almost talked to my ex this past week. Now this is very unusual because I am always the one that stops us from talking to each other.
I used to be very happy just being by myself. I did so many things, spent so many days by myself and was completely content. I used to refuse to think about dating and just genuinely wanted to be singe and be left alone. But now I feel like I actually want to be with someone. What happened to Miss Closed-Off???? Because I kind of want to be her again. Yes, that's it. I am going to go back to being Miss Closed-off and Miss I-Hate-All-Men.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Prayer Session

Wow, I went to a prayer session tonight with Alice after a legit Japanese dinner.....and I got my prayer one hour afterwards.
I am going to sleep with a smile on my face. =) Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee
1) I went on a ski trip this past weekend. I was pretty nervous to go at first because I didn't know anyone that was going, and honestly, that was the main reason why I went. I wanted to see what would happen and how I would act in that kind of situation. After all, I really had nothing to lose. It turned out pretty good. Skiing was definitely fun and I have about 20 bruises on me....not that I am scared of pain or something.

2) I was pretty down last semester because I felt like I did nothing besides studying and work. I felt hopeless. I felt like I didn't have time to do anything because I was putting in most of my time studying. Then I had an epiphany sometime in the past two days. I don't have to study all the time to do okay in my classes; I just need to be more efficient. I spent most of my time (80% at least) studying with a group with people from my class last semester. We would meet up at night or after class and study for what it seems like forever. I thought it was great. We helped each other with materials we didn't understand, shared notes, and encouraged each other. The only problem is the group is not efficient. We would spend 12 hours going over one Patho lecture. On days I didn't study with the group, I was able to go over a Patho lecture in 2 hrs and do just as well. So I've decided that I need to break away from the group and study by myself so I have more time to do non-pharmacy related things that I never got to do last semester. Of course, I will still join the group from time to time, but I really cannot afford going over every single detail and spending a weekend on just two lectures anymore. Actually, since last week, I've scheduled two or more social events/recreational class/or whatever a week for me to do. The goal is to reach out more, to do things I didn't get to do last semester, and to see what I can learn from every new activity that I do, every new person that I meet...etc. I hope I will be happier and feel more fulfilled....

3) The third topic I want to talk about is balance. Balance is the key to everything. Without balance, we feel lost, we feel down, we feel like something is wrong. Too much of everything isn't good. Too little of everything is good, also. I am not going to go into specific details about what I have too much or what I am lacking in my life. I just have this one question I keep asking myself, what do I do to get something that I want? The answer used to be, "just go get it." That was my solution to every problem I've had. I went straight to the solution, as aggressively as I possibly could. Now the answer seems blurry as I realized I can't get everything that I want. I keep trying, though. I never gave up. And that's why I love myself, for being persistent. I give myself so much credit for that. Life is a journey, not a destination.