the beginning of my much-needed winter break

im le tired. so here are some disorganized thoughts before i go to sleep:
this week: 2 finals, 4 days of work, and i still managed to hung out with people every single day. kudos.
also i started running a lot again. i guess thats what happens when i come back home.
goal: 15 -20 miles every week.
on average, i believed i ran 10-13 miles every week. with 19 credits and work at 6:30am on the weekend, i gave my best.
now that im on break, i really have to make the best of my time and try to get more miles in. fuck the winter weather. give me a long-sleeve shirt, a pair of leg warmers, my shoes and im ready to go.
words cannot express my love for running. people looking in from the outside just dont understand
they say that hobbies cant fulfill you, cant make you whole the way people can. i dont disagree with that.
however, as for me, i know for sure that every minute that i spend running is pure happiness.
its no longer a hobby; its my religion.

DONE

done with six finals
done with 19 credits
done with working almost every weekend
5 semesters of classes done, half way done with 5 yrs of classes....it only gets harder...
done for now
im proud of myself.

in times of despair,...

im not giving up
im collecting myself, and im going out.

motto to follow this semester: stop bitching about it. get to it.

You know you're a runner when...

• your first thought when you look at the weekly weather forecast is, "When can I fit in my runs?" check
  
• you have more running clothes than regular clothes in your laundry pile. not necessarily true cause i wash my running clothes usually after a run
  
• you've lost a toenail. And you tell people, "It's not that bad."
  
• you smirk when non-runners ask you, "So how long is this marathon?" check
  
• you have a drawer full of medals and other race souvenirs that you're not sure what to do with.
• you go into Starbucks more often to use the bathroom than to actually buy coffee. in my case, rite aid. this is sooo true. i also go into that rite aid for water. lol
  
• you no longer make fun of fanny packs because your running belt looks very similar (although cooler) to one.
• you've used an old race T-shirt to wash your car, dust furniture, or clean something else. no, but i do wear race t-shirt/s
  
• your treadmill has more miles on it than your car. i dont run on treadmills...im personally against them
  
• you get an invitation to a wedding and you automatically think about what race the date will conflict with.
• you have dreams about showing up to a race late or not wearing any clothes.
• you're not embarrassed to wear spandex. i still dont like them.
  
• the salespeople at your local running shop know you by name.
• you're always hungry. check
  
• you know how to take a cup of water from a water stop w ithout choking on it or spilling it all over yourself.
  
• at least one of your web site usernames or email addresses has the word "run" or "runner" in it. this blog is called girlontherun..check
  
• you know where your illiotibial band is located.
• you no longer hate port-a-johns. In fact, there have been times when you've been very happy to see one. i still hate public bathrooms and port-a-johns.
• 
  
• you wear your running watch even when you're not running. i dont have a running watch. should probably get one soon.
  

you've had your running shoes for three months and you know it's already time to replace them. nope. every 400 miles ill change them.

you spend more time researching running routes than local restaurants when traveling to a new city. check

your physical therapist's receptionist knows you by the sound of your voice on the phone.

you know where exactly one mile from your front door is (in any direction). very very true.

you know how to correctly spell and pronounce plantar fasciitis.

you own more pairs of running socks than dress socks. i wear the same socks for everything...though i dont think i have dress socks.

when you hear PR, you automatically think "personal record", not "public relations". check

you pack more running clothes than bathing suits when going on a beach vacation.

you have running clothes and an extra pair of running shoes in your car, "just in case."

your holiday wish list can be fulfilled at any running or sporting goods store.

one of the first things people ask you when they haven't seen you in a while is, "What race are you training for now?"

you have several drawers dedicated to running shirts.

you get excited when the new Runner's World comes in the mail.check

your Facebook or Twitter updates frequently involve running.check

your only recent photos of you alone are race photos.

you always have your next race on the calendar.

your runs are sometimes longer than your commute to work or school. CHECK! theyre ALWAYS longer.

your running partners know more about your bodily functions than your significant other.

How do you decide if you are a real runner? When you feel the best after your most difficult runs and wind up depressed because you have accepted your own excuses for not running at all. When you never see a runner on the street or passing your house without wishing that you were warmed up and ready to follow. When you can no longer imagine a full life without it...

i hate humidity.
because of work and humidity, i have been running on average 3 times a week, instead of 5-6. isnt this upsetting? right now im at a library because i literally couldnt run anymore. i am soaked and very much exhausted and pissed off from the heat and humidity. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
im moving in next sunday.
classes start on tuesday.
this should be interesting.

the weird thing is that the more eventful/interesting my life gets, the less i update this blog. with stuff happening like crazy, by the time i get to this blog, ive lost the urge to update here. argh!

also this is so not a running blog anymore, though my running has undoubtedly gone to a new level in these past three weeks. my left thigh is still sightly injured. it still hurts when i run. only the first few minutes, though. so its tolerable. i still have yet to buy icyhot. maybe i wont need it anymore.

on friday, i ran to walmart and bought a bike!!! ahhh! it finally happened! ill be riding this bike to class from college to busch next semester. there is just this bliss i know i would get from riding my bike across the river, on route 18 at 8 in the morning. i cant wait! what a great way to start off a day.

im really starting to hate boys. why is it that i always have a guy on my mind?!! i just dont want to think about him at all, is that too much to ask?! and also im VERY occupied. im thinking about him not because im bored.
this last guy that kinda of dated, im still thinking about him. WHY?!?!??!!! though mad props to me for never cried and got depressed over him. there was/is nothing to cry about. however, i do still always think about him. hes not even worth it.

I bought the perfect pair of running shoes yesterday at Lady's Footlocker at Menlo. I should've bought them a long time ago since I live 2 minutes away. I can't believe I went to all these other places to look for the perfect pair of Asics when the perfect pair was right here. argh! Well, $60 very well spent. My left thigh is almost completely fine now. I have been stretching a lot. Every night and before I run. I ran 3.5 miles yesterday because I was breaking into these new shoes and it was best not to run too much and ran between 4.75 - 4.9 miles today. I was so thirsty and hungry by the end of the run, or else I would have definitely reached 5 miles. It's really annoying. After four miles I am usually soaked, even my shorts are close to completely soaked. I know, it's gross. It's been so goddamn humid in New Jersey. WTF? And I become increasingly thirsty. However, there's no way I would carry water with me on runs. That's crazy. I don't even like carrying my purse to places. lol I don't like carrying things, period. On the days when I am lucky, I am able to find some random water fountains in some random buildings, such as the courthouse and the town library. The problem here is I usually go on my runs 8pm - 9pm and most of those places are closed by then. Oh well. I feel so hardcore. I got two runner's high's today. I love running. Even though I might not be the best/fastest or even something close to that, but I love running. I am in love with it. I don't care that I am taking 19 credits and having a job next semester, I am still running, at least four days a week. I can't live without it. It's not just a hobby anymore, it's my religion.
Speaking of religion, The Case for Christ is quite interesting. I gotta read it one more time just to clarify more things. Maybe I will even pick up The Case for Faith by the same author.
Tomorrow I don't have work. Someone is covering for me. I am going to read all day, then run, then possibly and most likely poker at night. I am looking forward to tomorrow.
Life is good.
:)
P.S. This girl today was mad annoying. I kinda saw her only because my friend had to meet up with her for something. She was like..."Hey girls, guess what? I got a boyfriend! AHHHHHHHH! Oh oh, do you wanna see his picture??!?!?!" Then she proceeded to show us his picture that was on her phone. THEN proceeded to tell us how he confessed his feelings and that they're meeting up later. And looked at us three single girls like we're pathetic. Seriously girl, WTF? I am single by choice and definitely not pathetic. I am convinced most people think us single people are pathetic but I am really in a happy place right now. The thing that also pisses me off is that my friend was like oh look, ____ has a bf, ________ is taken, now you got a bf, J****(my name) is probably going to be next, what am I going to do? .........seriously, being 19 and single isn't bad.....

Today is a beautiful Thursday. I got up around 10, slept at 12:30 last night. I then drove my mom to work, went to Stop&Shop to buy a chapstick, then went to my friend's house, that's where I am right now. Last night, I went to Josh's sublet house for a movie night with some brothers. It was nice. We watched Yes Man. Around 5, I will go shopping for a pair of running shoes that I have been meaning to buy in the past month, because I practically have no running shoes to wear, my old ones are completely done. Tomorrow I am hanging out with Eugenia, Carmen might tag along. Then Saturday I have work, and going to Mo's house for poker and drinks at night, then I have work again on Sunday, Monday - Wed. Argh! I dread working so much. Not only is it tiring, it's also freaking stressful. The only thing that's good about it is the money I get from it. I am so sick of it. However, it's still the best job that I could possibly get. I am sure retail pharmacy is horrible on a higher level and the pay isn't as great.
A lot has happened so far this week. Good and bad, also it was a little bit of an emotional rollercoaster. But now things are calm.
Also lately, I have been thinking about becoming more socialable. I am tired of being shy out of my comfort zone. It's a huge deal to be able to step out of my comfort zone and do things that I wouldn't normally do and hang out with people that I wouldn't normally hang out with. Surely, there are cautions though. I wouldn't hang out with anyone who's a bitch. If I hang out with this person, and he/she turns out to be an asshole, then of course I am not going to hang out with them again. I believe that who a person hangs out with says a lot about the person. It's always important not to associate yourself with people who bring you down.

Let's see...I don't even know how to update this blog anymore since it's been like a week? A lot of happened this week and last week, compared to the rest of my uneventful summer.
I went to the beach last Friday. It was interesting. It was more fun than I thought it would be since I actually opened up and talked more than I usually did with the people whom I went with. People will treat you how you treat them. If you make them feel comfortable, they will be comfortable and make you feel comfortable. When I hang out with people that I don't really know well, I tend to be really shy. However last Friday I just tried to be myself and contributed to the conversations and it was pretty awesome. I am going to work on that more - to not be as shy.
Saturday, I went to Chantalle's bbq after work. She lives in Scotch Plains, which is like 15 minutes from where I live. That place is a piece of heaven. Her house isn't that big; however it's really nicely decorated. Her pool house is HUGE, so is her pool. Only about ten people were there, and she hired a chef and an assistant. Wow, and I thought the economy wasn't doing well. There she was, hiring a chef and an assistant. From the way they talked, I think the chef serves at her house a lot. Her life is really awesome. Though I am not exactly the jealous type, I wish I had her life. lol
As far as running is concerned, I still have problems running after a day of work. However I run on average 4 times a week, 4.5 - 5 miles each time. So it's all right. I am planning on increase my run by .5 mile every week or two weeks, and run a half-marathon (13.1 miles) by next summer.
As far as reading is concerned, I have been reading whenever I can, whatever that interests me the most. This book in particular, intrigued me a good deal. However I wasn't able to read it again yesterday because it was somehow wrapped I didn't want to unwrap it if I wasn't going to buy it. I am going to Barnes&Noble to read again later on today.
I have read about Mane n' Tail for a while now. I finally bought the original shampoo and conditioner last night. They are supposed to make my hair thick, shiny, and all that, and most shockingly, longer. After trying both the shampoo and the conditioner, I have to say that they're different from the other hair products that I've used (which is like, three products lol). My hair does seem stronger, thicker, and shinier after the first application. I really can't wait till after I've used them for longer. However, for best results, I am going to alternate hair products. I am still going to use Pantene ProV, and maybe Tresemme. I am excited!
Today I want to go somewhere fun to shop. I was thinking of driving to Premium's Crossing (I think it's called that) or Jersey Gardens at least. I will figure something out...in the next 20 minutes or so.

Free at Last

After a week of almost non-stop working, I am finally free, until next Monday.
I napped an hour during lunch and three hours after I got home.
I am updating this blog tomorrow morning.

( ) snuck out of my parent's house

(x) had feelings for someone who didnt have them
( ) made out with a stranger
( ) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
( ) had a crush on a teacher

(x) skipped school
( ) slept with a co-worker
( ) seen someone die
( ) been to Canada
() been to Mexico

(x) been on a plane
( ) thrown up in a bar
( ) purposely set a part of myself on fire
() eaten Sushi (in what sense? LOL)
( ) been snowboarding
(x) been in an abusive relationship (on some level it was definitely abusive. o well thats in the past)
( ) taken painkillers
( ) love someone or miss someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
( ) made a snow angel
( ) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite

( ) built a sand castle

( ) gone puddle jumping
( x played dress up
( ) jumped into a pile of leaves
( ) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school
( ) used a fake id
(x) watched the sun set
( ) felt an earthquake
( ) touched a snake
(x) been tickled
(x) been robbed (assssssshole. i knew who stole my stuff too)
( ) robbed someoone
(x) been misunderstood
(x) pet a reindeer/goat
( ) won a contest
(x) run a red light (several)
( ) been suspended from school
(x) been in a car accident
( ) had braces (dont need them =P)
(x) felt like an outcast
( ) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
( ) danced in the moonlight
( ) hated the way you look
( ) witnessed a crime
( ) pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
(x) been obsessed with post-it notes
(x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost (in more ways than one)
( ) been to the opposite side of the country (unfortunately i am not well-traveled at well, i hate it. after pharmacy school i vow to spend a really big proportion of my salary on traveling)
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like dying
( ) cried yourself to sleep (ummm, i think i stopped crying before i fell asleep lol)

( ) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
( ) sung karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins

(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
( ) laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) caught a snowflake on your tongue
( ) kissed in the rain
( ) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe
( ) watched the sun set with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
( ) made a bonfire on the beach
( ) crashed a party

( ) Have traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people (that will drive my crazy)

(x) gone rollerskating
(x) had a wish come true (many)
( ) humped a monkey
(x) worn pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge
( ) screamed penis in class
( ) ate dog/cat food
( ) told a complete stranger you loved them
(x) sang in the shower

(x) have a little black dress ( i have A black dress, but not THE black dress)
( ) fucked in a park (LOL)
(x) had a dream that you married/kissed/fucked someone

(x) glued your hand to something
( ) got your tongue stuck to a metal pole
( ) kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sexes clothes
( ) been a cheerleader
(x) sat on a roof top

( ) had sex at a church (LOL)
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours (like........6 yrs ago, that was way too long, really dont plan on doing it again)

(x) stayed up all night (oh yeahhh, not the best times of my life)

( ) didn't take a shower for a week (that is just gross, i wouldnt even go through a day without showering)
(x) pick and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
( ) had a tree house
( ) are scared to watch scary movies alone

( ) believe in ghosts
( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes
( ) worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say

( ) gone streaking
( ) played ding-dong-ditch

( ) played chicken fight

( ) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on

(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
( ) broken a bone (knock on wood)

(x) been easily amused (always)
(x) caught a fish then ate it

(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
(x) mooned/flashed someone
(x) had someone moon/flash you

(x) cheated on a test

(x) forgotten someone's name

( ) slept naked
(x) French braided someones hair
( ) gone skinny dipping in a pool
( ) been kicked out of your house

Tired beyond belief

1) I am working five days again this week. I originally only had three days but I decided to cover for someone both Saturday and Sunday, even though I have a bbq to go to Saturday. I really can't pass up about $230......then I have work again Monday through Wednesday the following week, then next weekend. So basically between now and next Wednesday I have one day off. I am so tired. I am beyond tired. I know I am whining but I can't get over how tired I am. I am trying to stay up till 7 then just pass out, till tomorrow morning.
2) Running. I started running 4.5 - 5 miles every time I go running. Reason being there is a possibility that I am gaining weight from running 3 miles during each run. It is ridiculous but books and magazines are saying that if a runner's body gets adjusted to doing a certain distance each day or like five days a week, if the runner consumes the same amount of calories, he/she might gain weight because the body isn't working as hard as before. So I started running more last Sunday. Sources always say that 6 miles a day is the perfect number of miles to run for fitness and endurance. That takes a lot of time. I don't know if I can devote a little over an hour to run every day when school starts. Stretching, warming up, and cooling off are included in that a little over an hour period of time but still. Also I need to do a cardio workout other than running once a week. I need to find something to do. Since my bike is gone, and my swimming goggles are nowhere to be found, and that I absolutely hate the gym, I don't know what to do.
3) Speaking of bikes, I need to purchase a bike. They're so expensive nowadays wtf? The same bike that I got two years ago somehow is like $150 now. I got it for less than $90. WTF?!
4)I am going to the beach this Friday. That should be fun. Going for a run in the morning first.
5) Napping outdoor is amazing. Apparently, employees are not allowed to napped during breaks. WTF?! So today I went to this courtyard of Robert Wood Johnson Medical School and napped. It was so beautiful outside. I was in the shade, and the wind was just blowing in my face. Life was great for that 40 minutes. I can't wait to nap there again tomorrow.
6) I really like being outdoor. Tomorrow after I come home from work, given if I get enough sleep tonight, I am going to lie down on the grass in the park and just relax. It'll be nice.

im trying to cut down time on facebook. today was pretty successful, but i know tomorrow i will be on it less.
i slept from midnight (fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow) to 11 this morning. wow.
did speed workout today at merill (or merril?) park today. first time since cross country season in senior year. im actually slightly sore today. my legs normally never ever get sore from anything, because theyre pretty strong. roflmao.
also today i scrunched my hair for the first time!!!! the result was so amazing that im doing it again tomorrow for work.
lastly, i agree with my friend in that every single girl needs an eye-candy. i definitely have one, although i dont really see him but i guess hes still an eye-candy. i guess i just dont mind guys who wear glasses. O_O and i actually like geekly guys. cool geeky guys, the ones that actually enjoy life. the ones that drink. ROFL. not excessfully, though, of course, socially and moderately. i always thought i know what qualities my ideal guy has. but i was far off the chart. i now have a different set of qualities for my ideal guy. i think ill stick to this one. but then again, it all depends on the guy, these are just the things that attract me in a guy. so.....ill blog this down, maybe ill look at it years from now to see what has changed. =)
my ideal guy
-he has to be intelligent. he doesnt have to get all As in his classes. heck, he doesnt even have to get all As and Bs, he can get Cs. academic grades dont indicate intelligence. they indicate how hard you work for those classes. my ideal guy should pass school, get a decent and USEFUL degree, pursue something that he's passionate about, or at least okay with. however, outside of school (or in school), he has to be intelligent. knows how to go about surviving in this society, deal with people, and such.
-he has to be content with himself. i dont want a guy who loathes himself, or a guy who has low self-esteem, or a guy who desperately wants to be someone else. those guys are soooo unattractive. he can be content with himself, but he cant be cocky.
to be continued....need to sleep now.

i drove by roosevelt park about an hour ago. it was so beautiful. i wanted so badly to sit by the lake and just enjoy everything that this park has to offer. the ice skating rink and the tennis court are all lit up at night. therefore, its not like everything is totally dark after sunset. i drove into the park, parked my car, and saw a couple of couples (haha) sitting on benches. although i know they might think its sad that this girl is sitting by the lake all by her lonesome, i know that i will enjoy the scenary regardless of my single status and my lonesome. just because im single doesnt mean that i cant sit alone by a lake, an activities that couples tend to do. they cuddle, make out, chat, or whatever. i just sat there for about 2o minutes, clearing my head and being reflective. lol being a happy single means doing things that couples do, alone. im not going to miss out on things just because im single. this is the mentality that i have had in the past two years of my single life. and im glad i think like that, or else i wouldve missed out on so much! i had a great time sitting by the lake in the park. im considering doing that every day around 9 at night. its a good way to end a way. then ill go back home and go to bed at 10.
in other news,
1)black eyeliner and masara look amazing with my new gray eyes!
2) i started taking vitamins.
3) i need to try a new hair shampoo and conditioner. its bad if i use the same one for too long. my hair might get too accustomed to it.
4) reading is so good. reading stuff that i care about is good. i was determined to read hillary clintons autobiography, but i cant get through all the political stuff. reading everything before and including the chapter with bill clinton is good enough for me.
5) im hungry and am about to cook up some food.

my heart is not broken. the matter is rather that i dont have a heart...
i have no love to give or love that i want to receive at this moment and time. =(

argh! IM SO MAD. i won 3rd place of my age group on tuesday. i was 6 seconds slower than second place!!! who got a MUCH bigger prize than i did. 6 seconds!!!!!!!!!!! and it turned out, there were more female runners in my age group than i thought there were. next time.....next time.

sooo tired. yesterday, i ran another race. as tired as i was, i still decided to go for it since i already paid the entrance fee. why waste money? lol it was definitely exhausting considering i got up at 5am and was on my feet all day and all that. surprising, i won 3rd place in my age group (18-24). although there were a lot of runners, there were probably only several people in my age group. so even though im not fast by any means, i still won an award. hahaha....
so i started working full time this week, since im done being trained. its pretty tiring and i feel like i dont have too much time to do much. argh! i got home around 9:30pm. i went shopping after work, and went to someones place and had dinner. good stuff. its now 10:07 and im about to go to bed.
i dont know whats going on with me this weekend. but i do know that i want to get drunk. as alcoholic as that sounds, i havent been drunk since rutgersfest. it feels like its been ages. *sigh*
when am i going skydiving?!

thanks for teaching me what i consider one of the most important lessons in life. youve changed y life, even though you dont know it.

How to Enjoy Being Alone

Part of my job as a pharmacy technician at Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital is delivering meds to medical units/floors. When I walk in the hallways, I always find myself looking into patients' rooms, to see what they are up to. I usually deliver meds from 11am - 1pm. So it's basically lunch time. Most of the patients usually do one of the three things: reading the paper, eating alone, staring at the TV. There are also a good number of patients who can't even do those things. They are so ill that they either sleep all day, or just stare into nothingness. The worst thing about these patients is that they get VERY few visitors, from what I know. From 11-am-1pm, maybe 10%, or less, of the patients have visitors. They're all alone most of the time.
I am 19 years old. I am turning 20 this November. In a way I am still young. I am still in college. I am living with my parents when I am not on campus. In another way, I am pretty old. In 5 years or less I might be on my own, moving out from my parents, and renting (hopefully buying) my own apartment. I don't see myself being married or living with a boyfriend in 5 years or so, which means I will be completely alone. Now remember that after college, friends that you see a lot on campus at college, high school friends who live close to you in your hometown in the summer, will not be physically close to you anymore. You guys might be in different states even. As a result, I assume that I will be pretty much alone. And that is what happens to people. This guy that I know who used to live in New Jersey moved down to another state post-college because his new job is there. He said he is so alone. His family and friends are not there.
No wonder people become loners post-college, and as they get older. They really have no choice, well, most of the time.
In the summer, I have to say I don't have too many social activities. I might hang out with friends here and there, twice a week or so. However most of the time, I am on my own. Luckily, being alone has never really been a problem for me, because of the way I was brought up. What is interesting is that as I grow older, I appreciate being alone more and more. Yesterday I was supposed to go to Ocean Grove for something, or a BBQ, but I chose neither. I chose to spend the day on my own. My parents were out of town too; therefore I was completely alone, for basically the whole weekend. My really close friend felt the need to hang out with me. She asked me to go with her to a BBQ that she was going to; she also asked if I wanted to just chill, or even to go to her family July 4th event with her. I told her I appreciate her trying to get me to socialize, but that I was perfectly fine being on my own. I enjoy my company. Honestly, I still think she felt bad for me since she was constantly checking up on me all of yesterday. I was, truthfully, perfectly fine.
I guess I really know how to enjoy my own company, which I am proud of, because I think people these days are just so damn clingy.
There are a little less than two months left until school starts up again. I want to use these 50 something days more effectively. I started reading the news (a little bit), watching documentaries, among other things. I just want to learn to use my time alone more effectively, isntead of just watching shows most of the time. I also want to enjoy the outdoor more.
To be specific, things are the things I should do:
1) Read, read, read.
Books and newspapers. In particular, I want to read autobiographies. I am choosing not to read fictions, because I do feel like gaining knowledge from reading. Not that you can't learn from fictions, but they are just stories and I want to gain substantial, concrete knowledge. Books that offer strong opinions are pretty good too. I once read a book that curses the medical system in America. Very interesting read. It definitely stirred up thoughts.
2) Running
Simply put, I just want to keep running. I am trying to run longer and faster. I am taking bigger strides than before which is good.
3) Biking
I've always enjoyed biking. Unfortunately ever since my accident last summer, I haven't had a bike to ride. I am definitely buying one once I get my next paycheck and feel like I have more money in my bank account.
4) My language program
Still gotta work on that arghhh, this is probably the one thing that I don't really look forward to doing. I gotta push myself.
5) Drawing. No painting, pencial drawings.
6) Swimming
The only place I have membership to is the Rutgers gym. But I have no parking permit!!! What to do?! I want to swim though.

Those are about the only things I could do, given that I do work four to five days a week now, I am pretty busy.

Plans for today:
Going out for a run
Buying more scrubs
Start reading newspaper
I will see what more I can do as the day goes on

This week has been like a roller coaster. Not an emotional roller coaster, but definitely some kind of crazy roller coaster. I will update later on this week, it's been crazy.

20 Questions :
1--Thing you cannot leave the house without ? clothes&shoes. other than that i can leave the house without anything.
2--Favorite Brand of makeup? i rarely put on makeup. maybe five times a year.
3--Favorite Flower ? roses are pretty
4-- Fav clothing store? it changes. i liked abercrombie&fitch a lot last year. now i only go scrubs shopping. lol
5--Favorite Perfume ? ive been using victorias secret body sprays for as long as i can remember.
6--Heels or flats ? heels are hot, but im not a fan of putting my feet through pain just to look pretty.
7--Do you make good grades ? well, i guess i still make acceptable grades. lol
8--Favorite colors ? for some reasons, most of my clothes are white, black and grey. but now i try to buy clothes of bright colors. i like green, pink, yellow, blue...no favorite color. lol
9--Do you drink energy drinks ? no. even though i am a running fiend i dont drink energy drinks.
10--Do you drink juice ? i could. but i rarely drink juice.
11--Do you like swimming ? yes. i used to swim at least once a week last semester.
12--Do you eat fries with a fork ? no. fingers.
13--Favourite Moisturizer? i only got one. st. ives. i have no skin care routine and do like nothing to my skin. thats why i got a herbal facial today. it was pretty amazing. hahaa
14--Do you want to get married later on in life ? i guess, eventually. truthfully i dont see myself getting married before im like 28. i also dont see myself having a wedding. when i do get married eventually, i just want to get married in vegas or just go to city hall. no wedding for me. im not a wedding girl.
15--Do you get mad easily ? not really. lately nothing or no one can get me mad. ive been very emotionally out.
16--Are you into Ghost Hunting ? no. dont believe in ghost.
17-- Any phobias? people phobias.
18--Do you bite your nails ? occasionally
19--Have you ever had a near death experience? no.
20--Do you drink coffee ? rarely

i just got up and its 1:22pm. now how am i going to get up at 5am tomorrow. =_=
i need to study for stats today. but before that theres really great food! honey bbq wings, watermelon, green tea. yummmm =0

i couldnt sleep because i only ran four miles this week so far because of stupid work as well as other plans, obligations and whatever else. i couldnt sleep on my bed because my legs felt like they were just.....they felt horrible, i felt horrible. so i basically went running, a little past 4 in the morning. i know its crazy, its ridiculous, but now i feel so refreshed!!!!! ahhhh! running is really my therapy for everything.

napping everywhere
ive been falling asleep everywhere, any place i could find. standing, sitting, lying down, in any positions. yup, robert wood johnson university hospital, youre getting the best of me.
work is getting a little tedious though. but its much better than anything else i could possibly have.
going to sleep now. im looking foward to sleeping in (sleeping past 5am) on thursday. thank goodness. im also looking forward to my best friend RUNNING. i havent run in two days because of this whole getting up at 5am thing. im just too tired if im only sleeping 5 hrs a day. its a horrendous feeling not getting enough sleep and not running. two of the most important things in my life.

Running&Parks

Yay! More blogging about running. I was reading other runners' blogs, and I realized (well I knew before too) that runners like to run in the park. Although on average I probably go to Roosevelt park for a run like once a week, I much rather run on the road, more specifically the sidewalk of the street. For some reason I don't feel much energy to run whenever I do run in the park. Weird, huh?

Wow, that was one of the many best runs I've ever been on. The distance wasn't that remarkable. 3 miles, my routine. However for some reason I just feel so good on the run. I didn't want it to end, but it was like 11 already and there was only a few cars on the road. O_O I needed to get home for my safety. Today's kind of humid so my shirt is soaked with sweat. Gotta shower now. =)I like how I wash my hair strictly and entirely based on my running schedule. As in, I wash my hair after each run. If I don't run on a particular day then I don't wash my hair that day. Therefore, I have been washing my hair 5 -6 times a week so far this summer. I do, though, shower once, if not twice, a day even if I don't run that day. Don't worry, I am very hygienic. =D

I borrowed this very interesting book from church last night. It teaches you many short, yet, very important lessons about life, how to overcome hardships and such. I love it. The only problem is, at the end of every lesson, the author relates everything he just talked about to religion, the Bible and such. Not that it's a bad thing, but my point of view as well as my perception of the world are very scientific. Heck, I don't even believe in fate. When two people meet and "fall in love" or whatever, a lot of people think it's fate that they happen to meet each other, that they were together at the same place at the same time. However I just think that's chance. Let's say they met at a bagel shop ( LOVE bagels <3). The girl went to the bagel shop because she goes there to get breakfast every morning. The guy happened to be there because he drove by and decided that he didn't eat breakfast at home as usual and decided to get a bagel. The way I see it everything is chance. It's also calculations. The girl has a very high chance of meeting people at that particular bagel shop because she's there almost every morning. Whereas the guy has a low chance because he doesn't buy bagels there very often. I don't explain things well so all that might sound like nonsense but I understand.
In other news, I am pursuing other hobbies this summer in addition to the few that I already have. I am going to learn to draw. I do think I have an artistic side but I definitely have to work on it. I want to use pencils to sketch people and objects. I am not really into paints all that much. Another hobby that I am about to pursue is to lose my damn accent. I tried it last summer but I guess that 10 days was just not enough. I got whole new system though.
ALSO in other news, I spent a good amount of money on alcohol and mixers today. I made myself pina colada and mojito - mint. Very good stuff. =)
It's like 10 at night. I am going for a late-night run. I am definitely looking forward to it.

I am not feeling so great today. Something happened. Well, so I didn't go running as usual because I just didn't feel like it. I felt lazy and listless. To clear my head, I drove around town, and ended up in the park. It was almost 9 so it was almost completely dark outside. I saw this guy running. He was definitely working up a sweat and it saddened me that I didn't go running today because something stupid happened. =`( I would go right now but it's like 10 at night. So I will go for a run first thing tomorrow. I still need to run just because something unpleasant happens. I need to remember that running is what got me through so many hard times in my life (in the past year and a half anyway). This is something that will only make me feel bad for today; it won't go on past today. I am older now I really know better.
One good thing that happened today was I got my Hamsa bracelet in the mail, straight from Israel. I am never going to take it off, well, except when I am in the IV room making IV bags then I am required to take any kind of wristbands or bracelets off. =___=

The most important thing in life is to be honest with yourself, and that can be hard to do at times, but I did it today!

Today hasn't exactly been a good day. At least I ran today. It wasn't a good run but I tried, given the circumstance. My body is tired.

Dating&Relationships

I thought I knew a decent number of things about relationships, since I've been in a couple, regardless of how dysfunctional they were and how immature I was back then. But I had definitely been living in a cave as far as relationships and dating are concerned. In the past month or so I've learned more about relationships and dating than I did my whole life. I've been learning through books(mostly. very very goo, EYE-OPENING books), my personal experience, other people's experiences as well as various other sources. I now have a brand-new outlook on relationships and dating. Things like that are pretty much subjective. There is no right or wrong, or good or bad. It's your own opinion and how you feel that matter. I am very glad I am learning and discovering things that I was never exposed to.
Moreover, I noticed that my outlook on happiness has change quite a lot. I am allocating my time to do things/activities that I never thought about doing, and they are looking good and promising. Well, and today I learned how to make IV bags. Completely unrelated but interesting stuff regardless.
Tomorrow I don't have to be up till 8am!! woot!

why is it raining?!?!??!! i need to go for a run i didnt even run yesteday?!?! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh im feeling very miserable right now.

Still Running

Even though I haven't updated this blog in a week and a half, I have been running. I didn't run Thursday and Friday of last week and Wednesday this week. I took those three days as rest days so that my muscles can properly repair and take a break. Running magazines suggest taking rest days as oppose to running every day.
6/6 - Lakeview 5K
6/9 - RVRR Summer Cross Country Series Race #1

These are the wo races I've run in the past several days. Now that I started running 5K races again (since high school), I have a better idea of what I can do to improve my time.

Running (among a few other things) makes me believe that I can handle everything on my own, and that I am one of the strongest people I know. With that kind of mentality, I can really get what I want while trying to live every day to the fullest and doing whatever that makes me happy.

I love running. It makes me complete.

May 28 and May 31

So I ran on Thursday and today. I just ran laps around the lake in Roosevelt park today. I saw my ex boyfriend's parents there. I was running and I am pretty sure that was them. I believe we hated each other's guts. So glad that was over with...awkward days behind me. Hopefully they didn't recognize me. I mean, not a lot of people remember faces as well as I do. Lol, not that I care anyway.

50 little secrets

This is what I do at 5 in the morning. Imagine I have to get up at this time for work in two weeks. rofl.

5O LITTLE SECRETS
Be honest no matter what

[ONE] Who was your last text from?
Matthew

[TWO] Where was your default pic taken?
ARC computer lab lol i was with Eugenia

[THREE] Your relationship status?
im seeing someone, i guess.

[FOUR] Have you ever lost a close friend?
as in they died? no. but i have lost a close friends in a sense that we grew apart.

[FIVE] What is your current mood?
relaxed and happy. its summer. lol

[SIX] Whats your brother(s)/sister(s) names
only child

[SEVEN] Do you have a job?
in two weeks, my dream job!!!!!

[EIGHT]Where do you wish you were right now?
getting my manicure done, running or drinking green tea frappuccino and eating a bagel.

[NINE] Have a crazy side?
oh yes...

[TEN]Ever had a near death experience?
yepp

[ELEVEN] Something you do a lot?
running, watching stuff on youtube, reading fml.com

[TWENTY-EIGHT] Who was the last person who gave you a hug?
motherr

[TWENTY-NINE] Who was the last person who yelled at you?
my mother

[THIRTY] Do you act differently around the person you like?
no, why wouldnt i be myself?

[THIRTY-ONE] What is your natural hair color?
black. and its like black for the first time in so many years. im not into highlighting or dye-ing my hair right now.

[THIRTY-TWO] Who was the last person to make you laugh really hard?
myself...i crack myself up all the time.

[THIRTY-THREE] Who was the last person to make you sad or pissed?
my mother

[THIRTY-FOUR] What do you hear?
birds chirping outside.

[THIRTY-FIVE] Is your hair curly or straight?
straight

[THIRTY-SIX] Has anyone ever called you "scrumptious" before?
dont think so

[THIRTY-SEVEN] Do you have a best friend?
not really

[THIRTY-EIGHT] Held hands with the opposite sex in the past 3 days?
yes

[THIRTY-NINE] Do you use smiley faces on the computer?
yes ^_____________^

FORTY] Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
i think so, not anytime recent.

[FORTY-ONE] Are you happy with life right now?
yes

[FORTY-TWO] Are you currently jealous?
no, im rarely jealous of people. whats the point? if you want something go get it. if not be happy with what you have. wow, my view towards life changed a lot...

[FORTY-THREE] What jewelry are you currently wearing?
ear studs and bracelets that i never really take off.

[FORTY-FOUR] What are you doing Friday night?
im not too sure, i might be going to church actually

[FORTY-FIVE] Have you ever had your heart broken?
yes

[FORTY-SIX] Have you ever broken someone's heart?
yes

[FORTY-SEVEN] Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now?
no

[FORTY-EIGHT] What was the last thing you went to the doctors for?
i got sick a couple days before finals and had to get meds. =_= why do i always get sick during finals week?!?!?!?! last year i had a fever, but this year was worse.

[FORTY-NINE] How late did you stay up last night and why?
6am because im being nocturnal and wouldnt go to sleep early. arrrrgh!

[FIFTY]Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
yes

May 27, 2009

I feel so good today. I ran 4 miles if not more, and I definitely got the runner's high so I am happy beyond belief. Starting today, I am running 4 miles a day (I usually run 2.5 - 3.5 miles) so I can own the 5k race (3.1 miles) next Saturday.

Time: 7pm - ?
Distance: 4 miles. House ---> Grove Ave---> Middlesex Ave (?) ---> Main St--->Metuchen Train Station --->Main St-->Middlesex Ave --> Grove --->Roosevelt Park, then I walked home.

singledom.

This post has nothing to do with running, rather I have been thinking a lot about being single. In high school, I was always afraid of being single. I always thought that people who are attached are ought to be happier than those who are single. I believe I was single for maybe 13 months in total in the course of high school. Was I happy? Some of the times. However, being attached had limited me from a lot of things. I had to pay for a lot of them later on. So in college, in the past two years at least, I have been pretty content being single. I enjoyed many aspects of being single. It is truly a worry-free life. I was so content with single that some people thought that I hated all men. The following conversation has taken places multiple times:

Person: "So I have a bf/gf now. How about you?"
Me: "Nah, I am still single."
Person: "Really. Do you like...hate all men or something?"
Me: "Probably."

Truth is, I did hate guys, well, dating guys anyway. I guess I just didn't enjoy going on dates or just getting to know a guy anymore. I didn't bother because I was so jaded, so tired from all the troubles, issues, headaches that could possibly stem from dating/going out/being in a relationship. I even told my mom just to find me whoever when I reach the age to get married, and I will marry him. I am just that lazy to find someone.

However, lately, I have been more optimistic about that. I am starting to see the good in being a relationship. And I actually would not mind dating/going out/being in a relationship anymore. Wow, what a huge change in attitude! Don't get my wrong. I am still somewhat bitter towards guys, I am just LESS bitter.

Despite my more positive attitude towards relationships and just guys in general. I still think being single is not pathetic and is still quite a good lifestyle. One more thing to add, I don't respect people who just can't be single. There are people who have to be in a relationship; they have to have somebody, or else they just can't be happy.

"

	Women, wear your badge of 'single-ness' proudly. I like being single. Getting involved is scary. Here's why: 1. you can no longer collect or give your number to the really hot guys 2. you have to get ready for huge disappointments (forgetten birthdays, holidays, etc...) 3. you can no longer trust your best friend. (you have to watch her out of the corner of your eye when with your man.) 4. you have to explain to your parents who the new guy is 5. no more eating two double cheeseburgers. Just a salad and water. 6. you have to pretend to like the cheesy gift he presented to you in front of everyone. 7. you have to stop your embarrassing habits. 8. you have to start calling yourself fat for recognition b/c he doesn't compliment you enough. 9. you cant wear the gramma panties anymore 10. you have to shave 11. you have to cook for two now 12. you have to deal with vicious rumors spread by his ex and her posse. 13. if you're nice to a male in public, he'll call it flirting and use it as his permanent defense in every argument. 14. He won't respect the cat. 15. He'll tell his buddies that you're stingy with the 'putty', but in fact, when you're in the mood, he's tiiired 16. you eventually have to deal with the break up 17. everyone wants to know how you two met, regardless how incredibly boring it was. 18. you have to put on your fake smile and endure 3 long hours of candy-coated insults or awkward silence when meeting his parents'. 19. After the breakup, your paranoia will convince you that he wants to torch the cat, thus causing you thousands in expensive therapy. 20. If your mother likes him and you two break up, she'll always refer to him as 'the one that got away.' 21. You have to start laughing at his jokes, regardless of how lame they are. 22. You have to hold your farts in" 10 Reasons To Stay Single This article is dedicated to all the girls out there in "Singledom". Whoever said that single girls don't have more fun? Relationships are all about compromise.Being single on the other hand, is all about being in control and taking charge of yourself. You are the Queen of your domain. Being single allows you to be self-indulgent without the need to feel guilty. Often when in relationships, girls become self-conscious about their body image. Being single means you are no longer a slave to the way you look. Single girls can stop worrying about their image 24 hours a day, as they have no one to please but themselves. Relationships involve sharing and sometimes that means everything! Some guys are content to just share your chocolate with you, but when they insist on borrowing YOUR clothes, you know you're in trouble!The beauty of being single is that you don't have to share with anyone - it's all about you, you, and you baby! Relationships mean loss of party-life. Single life means partying to dawn! You get to meet different types of people while mingling in different circles. Being single is all about fun, spontaneity and even more fun! So what are you waiting for - Network girlfriend! Single girls are footloose and fancy-free. Being a free agent entitles you to see whom you want, when you want. Being single allows you to flirt with a guy, without feeling guilty! Rediscover your own body clock. Single girls should enjoy the freedom; answer to no one and do things in their own timeframe. Remember that single life can be a headache-free, hassle-free, wonderful Life! To those who dread being single, please don't. You're indepedent, strong and most importantly, free from problems and worries.

May 25 and May 26

May 25, 2009
I got locked out of my car without a cell phone or my house key yesterday. So I had to walk back home, climb a window, get into the house and get a spare car key. Then I changed into my running shoes and ran back to my car. So there was my run for yesterday.

May 26, 2009
Time: 4 something to 5 something in the afternoon
Distance: home --> park--->James St---> Grove Ave --> home

May 23, 2009

So I was slacking on Thursday and Friday and didn't run. In my defense, I climbed stairs for like an hour in Thursday and Friday I was showered with good news and so happy that I ....didn't run.

Time: 4 something to 5 something?
Distance: same as Wednesday.

My first race since senior year in high school is exactly two weeks from today. There are two things I need to do for preparation. The first thing is to get up early. I have been getting up around 1pm every day this summer so far. If I were to make it to the race I need to get up around 7, the latest. And everyone who knows me knows that I can't function without a good amount of sleep. So I really need to start sleeping early. The second thing is I need to increase my speed. I have the endurance necessary to finish a 5k, but I am not too confident about how fast I will be. Two weeks should be enough time to make adjustments and see improvements. I am optimistic and certainly very excited.

May 20, 2009

Ok, I am getting worse at keeping track of time and the distance that I run.
Time: 7 something to like 8pm
Distance: No idea. I ran to the park and ran to JFK Hospital, ran past that and ran home.

The race is on 6/6 instead of 6/8 so that's next Saturday I believe. I better start getting up early in the morning and start running faster. I have no idea how long I will take to finish the 5k but I definitely think it would be under 27 minutes. I am going to start training for it tomorrow and see what happens.

May 19, 2009

Time: I left before 7:30 came back around 8:10pm.
Distance: House to Metuchen High School then ran to Roosevelt Park and ran around the lake once. 3.5 miles?

I found a 5k race while I was in the park! It's on June 8 and I am so excited! Last time I found a 5k race (Lincoln tunnel) I wasn't able to make it because I still had a chapter of orgo to read on the day of the race and there was an orgo exam 7 hrs after the race. But this time I am sure I'll be able to make it. And also I wasn't dehydrated today. I am very happy.

May 18, 2009

Running fail yesterday. It was 11pm when I had the time to run and my parents wouldn't let me go outside alone at that time. To be honest, it is pretty scary to be out running that late at night. I don't know how I did it before. Anyway, I was pretty pissed off today because of something. So I went running and it certainly cheered me up and cleared my head. That's the thing I love the most about running; it always cheers me up, makes me feel powerful, and reassures me if I could run I can do anything. It sounds mad cheesy but it's so true.

Time: 4:53 to 5:25pm

Distance: House to Grove Ave, then ran along Grove until I got to James St. and ran back.

I definitely need to drink more water next time, at least half a bottle. I was extremely dehydrated during the run today and it felt horrible.

May 16, 2009

Time: 4:05 - 4:20pm
Distance: no idea probably 1 1/2 mile. ran to Roosevelt park and ran around the lake twice.

It was a bad idea to go out for a run at 4 in the afternoon when it's burning outside. Despite my effort to keep myself hydrated, I didn't feel like running much because of the heat. Maybe I will go out for a run tonight after work when it's cooler.

Edit: I was so hungry and tired after work so I didn't run. =/ I am so disappointed that I definitely have not been meeting my goal of running 3 miles a day. Tomorrow...

My First Running Blog!

Time: 10:10pm - 10:30pm
Distance: 2 miles -from house to almost metuchen high school and back.
Notes: I have been rather tired today. I went to work and didn't really get enough sleep last night (a little less than six hours). I would say it wasn't a successful run because it was pretty late when I went out, and I only ran two miles as oppose to three. But that's okay. Also the time on this blog is three hours ahead and I don't know how to change it. But yay for this running blog! I am so excited to finally keep track of how much I run. My goal for the summer is to do three miles every day. And I will try to get up early and run in the morning.