Friday, July 31, 2009

I bought the perfect pair of running shoes yesterday at Lady's Footlocker at Menlo. I should've bought them a long time ago since I live 2 minutes away. I can't believe I went to all these other places to look for the perfect pair of Asics when the perfect pair was right here. argh! Well, $60 very well spent. My left thigh is almost completely fine now. I have been stretching a lot. Every night and before I run. I ran 3.5 miles yesterday because I was breaking into these new shoes and it was best not to run too much and ran between 4.75 - 4.9 miles today. I was so thirsty and hungry by the end of the run, or else I would have definitely reached 5 miles. It's really annoying. After four miles I am usually soaked, even my shorts are close to completely soaked. I know, it's gross. It's been so goddamn humid in New Jersey. WTF? And I become increasingly thirsty. However, there's no way I would carry water with me on runs. That's crazy. I don't even like carrying my purse to places. lol I don't like carrying things, period. On the days when I am lucky, I am able to find some random water fountains in some random buildings, such as the courthouse and the town library. The problem here is I usually go on my runs 8pm - 9pm and most of those places are closed by then. Oh well. I feel so hardcore. I got two runner's high's today. I love running. Even though I might not be the best/fastest or even something close to that, but I love running. I am in love with it. I don't care that I am taking 19 credits and having a job next semester, I am still running, at least four days a week. I can't live without it. It's not just a hobby anymore, it's my religion.
Speaking of religion, The Case for Christ is quite interesting. I gotta read it one more time just to clarify more things. Maybe I will even pick up The Case for Faith by the same author.
Tomorrow I don't have work. Someone is covering for me. I am going to read all day, then run, then possibly and most likely poker at night. I am looking forward to tomorrow.
Life is good.
P.S. This girl today was mad annoying. I kinda saw her only because my friend had to meet up with her for something. She was like..."Hey girls, guess what? I got a boyfriend! AHHHHHHHH! Oh oh, do you wanna see his picture??!?!?!" Then she proceeded to show us his picture that was on her phone. THEN proceeded to tell us how he confessed his feelings and that they're meeting up later. And looked at us three single girls like we're pathetic. Seriously girl, WTF? I am single by choice and definitely not pathetic. I am convinced most people think us single people are pathetic but I am really in a happy place right now. The thing that also pisses me off is that my friend was like oh look, ____ has a bf, ________ is taken, now you got a bf, J****(my name) is probably going to be next, what am I going to do? .........seriously, being 19 and single isn't bad.....

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Today is a beautiful Thursday. I got up around 10, slept at 12:30 last night. I then drove my mom to work, went to Stop&Shop to buy a chapstick, then went to my friend's house, that's where I am right now. Last night, I went to Josh's sublet house for a movie night with some brothers. It was nice. We watched Yes Man. Around 5, I will go shopping for a pair of running shoes that I have been meaning to buy in the past month, because I practically have no running shoes to wear, my old ones are completely done. Tomorrow I am hanging out with Eugenia, Carmen might tag along. Then Saturday I have work, and going to Mo's house for poker and drinks at night, then I have work again on Sunday, Monday - Wed. Argh! I dread working so much. Not only is it tiring, it's also freaking stressful. The only thing that's good about it is the money I get from it. I am so sick of it. However, it's still the best job that I could possibly get. I am sure retail pharmacy is horrible on a higher level and the pay isn't as great.
A lot has happened so far this week. Good and bad, also it was a little bit of an emotional rollercoaster. But now things are calm.
Also lately, I have been thinking about becoming more socialable. I am tired of being shy out of my comfort zone. It's a huge deal to be able to step out of my comfort zone and do things that I wouldn't normally do and hang out with people that I wouldn't normally hang out with. Surely, there are cautions though. I wouldn't hang out with anyone who's a bitch. If I hang out with this person, and he/she turns out to be an asshole, then of course I am not going to hang out with them again. I believe that who a person hangs out with says a lot about the person. It's always important not to associate yourself with people who bring you down.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Let's see...I don't even know how to update this blog anymore since it's been like a week? A lot of happened this week and last week, compared to the rest of my uneventful summer.
I went to the beach last Friday. It was interesting. It was more fun than I thought it would be since I actually opened up and talked more than I usually did with the people whom I went with. People will treat you how you treat them. If you make them feel comfortable, they will be comfortable and make you feel comfortable. When I hang out with people that I don't really know well, I tend to be really shy. However last Friday I just tried to be myself and contributed to the conversations and it was pretty awesome. I am going to work on that more - to not be as shy.
Saturday, I went to Chantalle's bbq after work. She lives in Scotch Plains, which is like 15 minutes from where I live. That place is a piece of heaven. Her house isn't that big; however it's really nicely decorated. Her pool house is HUGE, so is her pool. Only about ten people were there, and she hired a chef and an assistant. Wow, and I thought the economy wasn't doing well. There she was, hiring a chef and an assistant. From the way they talked, I think the chef serves at her house a lot. Her life is really awesome. Though I am not exactly the jealous type, I wish I had her life. lol
As far as running is concerned, I still have problems running after a day of work. However I run on average 4 times a week, 4.5 - 5 miles each time. So it's all right. I am planning on increase my run by .5 mile every week or two weeks, and run a half-marathon (13.1 miles) by next summer.
As far as reading is concerned, I have been reading whenever I can, whatever that interests me the most. This book in particular, intrigued me a good deal. However I wasn't able to read it again yesterday because it was somehow wrapped I didn't want to unwrap it if I wasn't going to buy it. I am going to Barnes&Noble to read again later on today.
I have read about Mane n' Tail for a while now. I finally bought the original shampoo and conditioner last night. They are supposed to make my hair thick, shiny, and all that, and most shockingly, longer. After trying both the shampoo and the conditioner, I have to say that they're different from the other hair products that I've used (which is like, three products lol). My hair does seem stronger, thicker, and shinier after the first application. I really can't wait till after I've used them for longer. However, for best results, I am going to alternate hair products. I am still going to use Pantene ProV, and maybe Tresemme. I am excited!
Today I want to go somewhere fun to shop. I was thinking of driving to Premium's Crossing (I think it's called that) or Jersey Gardens at least. I will figure something the next 20 minutes or so.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Free at Last

After a week of almost non-stop working, I am finally free, until next Monday.
I napped an hour during lunch and three hours after I got home.
I am updating this blog tomorrow morning.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

( ) snuck out of my parent's house

(x) had feelings for someone who didnt have them
( ) made out with a stranger
( ) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
( ) had a crush on a teacher

(x) skipped school
( ) slept with a co-worker
( ) seen someone die
( ) been to Canada
() been to Mexico

(x) been on a plane
( ) thrown up in a bar
( ) purposely set a part of myself on fire

() eaten Sushi (in what sense? LOL)
( ) been snowboarding
(x) been in an abusive relationship (on some level it was definitely abusive. o well thats in the past)
( ) taken painkillers
( ) love someone or miss someone right now

(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
( ) made a snow angel
( ) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite

( ) built a sand castle

( ) gone puddle jumping
( x played dress up
( ) jumped into a pile of leaves
( ) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school
( ) used a fake id
(x) watched the sun set
( ) felt an earthquake
( ) touched a snake
(x) been tickled
(x) been robbed (assssssshole. i knew who stole my stuff too)

( ) robbed someoone
(x) been misunderstood
(x) pet a reindeer/goat
( ) won a contest
(x) run a red light (several)
( ) been suspended from school
(x) been in a car accident
( ) had braces (dont need them =P)
(x) felt like an outcast
( ) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
( ) danced in the moonlight
( ) hated the way you look
( ) witnessed a crime
( ) pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
(x) been obsessed with post-it notes
(x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost (in more ways than one)
( ) been to the opposite side of the country (unfortunately i am not well-traveled at well, i hate it. after pharmacy school i vow to spend a really big proportion of my salary on traveling)
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like dying
( ) cried yourself to sleep (ummm, i think i stopped crying before i fell asleep lol)

( ) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
( ) sung karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins

(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
( ) laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) caught a snowflake on your tongue
( ) kissed in the rain
( ) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe
( ) watched the sun set with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
( ) made a bonfire on the beach
( ) crashed a party

( ) Have traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people (that will drive my crazy)

(x) gone rollerskating
(x) had a wish come true (many)
( ) humped a monkey
(x) worn pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge
( ) screamed penis in class
( ) ate dog/cat food
( ) told a complete stranger you loved them
(x) sang in the shower

(x) have a little black dress ( i have A black dress, but not THE black dress)
( ) fucked in a park (LOL)
(x) had a dream that you married/kissed/fucked someone

(x) glued your hand to something
( ) got your tongue stuck to a metal pole
( ) kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sexes clothes
( ) been a cheerleader
(x) sat on a roof top

( ) had sex at a church (LOL)
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel

(x) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours (like........6 yrs ago, that was way too long, really dont plan on doing it again)

(x) stayed up all night (oh yeahhh, not the best times of my life)

( ) didn't take a shower for a week (that is just gross, i wouldnt even go through a day without showering)
(x) pick and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
( ) had a tree house
( ) are scared to watch scary movies alone

( ) believe in ghosts
( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes
( ) worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say

( ) gone streaking
( ) played ding-dong-ditch

( ) played chicken fight

( ) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on

(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
( ) broken a bone (knock on wood)

(x) been easily amused (always)
(x) caught a fish then ate it

(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
(x) mooned/flashed someone
(x) had someone moon/flash you

(x) cheated on a test

(x) forgotten someone's name

( ) slept naked
(x) French braided someones hair
( ) gone skinny dipping in a pool
( ) been kicked out of your house

Tired beyond belief

1) I am working five days again this week. I originally only had three days but I decided to cover for someone both Saturday and Sunday, even though I have a bbq to go to Saturday. I really can't pass up about $230......then I have work again Monday through Wednesday the following week, then next weekend. So basically between now and next Wednesday I have one day off. I am so tired. I am beyond tired. I know I am whining but I can't get over how tired I am. I am trying to stay up till 7 then just pass out, till tomorrow morning.
2) Running. I started running 4.5 - 5 miles every time I go running. Reason being there is a possibility that I am gaining weight from running 3 miles during each run. It is ridiculous but books and magazines are saying that if a runner's body gets adjusted to doing a certain distance each day or like five days a week, if the runner consumes the same amount of calories, he/she might gain weight because the body isn't working as hard as before. So I started running more last Sunday. Sources always say that 6 miles a day is the perfect number of miles to run for fitness and endurance. That takes a lot of time. I don't know if I can devote a little over an hour to run every day when school starts. Stretching, warming up, and cooling off are included in that a little over an hour period of time but still. Also I need to do a cardio workout other than running once a week. I need to find something to do. Since my bike is gone, and my swimming goggles are nowhere to be found, and that I absolutely hate the gym, I don't know what to do.
3) Speaking of bikes, I need to purchase a bike. They're so expensive nowadays wtf? The same bike that I got two years ago somehow is like $150 now. I got it for less than $90. WTF?!
4)I am going to the beach this Friday. That should be fun. Going for a run in the morning first.
5) Napping outdoor is amazing. Apparently, employees are not allowed to napped during breaks. WTF?! So today I went to this courtyard of Robert Wood Johnson Medical School and napped. It was so beautiful outside. I was in the shade, and the wind was just blowing in my face. Life was great for that 40 minutes. I can't wait to nap there again tomorrow.
6) I really like being outdoor. Tomorrow after I come home from work, given if I get enough sleep tonight, I am going to lie down on the grass in the park and just relax. It'll be nice.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

im trying to cut down time on facebook. today was pretty successful, but i know tomorrow i will be on it less.
i slept from midnight (fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow) to 11 this morning. wow.
did speed workout today at merill (or merril?) park today. first time since cross country season in senior year. im actually slightly sore today. my legs normally never ever get sore from anything, because theyre pretty strong. roflmao.
also today i scrunched my hair for the first time!!!! the result was so amazing that im doing it again tomorrow for work.
lastly, i agree with my friend in that every single girl needs an eye-candy. i definitely have one, although i dont really see him but i guess hes still an eye-candy. i guess i just dont mind guys who wear glasses. O_O and i actually like geekly guys. cool geeky guys, the ones that actually enjoy life. the ones that drink. ROFL. not excessfully, though, of course, socially and moderately. i always thought i know what qualities my ideal guy has. but i was far off the chart. i now have a different set of qualities for my ideal guy. i think ill stick to this one. but then again, it all depends on the guy, these are just the things that attract me in a guy. so.....ill blog this down, maybe ill look at it years from now to see what has changed. =)
my ideal guy
-he has to be intelligent. he doesnt have to get all As in his classes. heck, he doesnt even have to get all As and Bs, he can get Cs. academic grades dont indicate intelligence. they indicate how hard you work for those classes. my ideal guy should pass school, get a decent and USEFUL degree, pursue something that he's passionate about, or at least okay with. however, outside of school (or in school), he has to be intelligent. knows how to go about surviving in this society, deal with people, and such.
-he has to be content with himself. i dont want a guy who loathes himself, or a guy who has low self-esteem, or a guy who desperately wants to be someone else. those guys are soooo unattractive. he can be content with himself, but he cant be cocky.
to be continued....need to sleep now.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

i drove by roosevelt park about an hour ago. it was so beautiful. i wanted so badly to sit by the lake and just enjoy everything that this park has to offer. the ice skating rink and the tennis court are all lit up at night. therefore, its not like everything is totally dark after sunset. i drove into the park, parked my car, and saw a couple of couples (haha) sitting on benches. although i know they might think its sad that this girl is sitting by the lake all by her lonesome, i know that i will enjoy the scenary regardless of my single status and my lonesome. just because im single doesnt mean that i cant sit alone by a lake, an activities that couples tend to do. they cuddle, make out, chat, or whatever. i just sat there for about 2o minutes, clearing my head and being reflective. lol being a happy single means doing things that couples do, alone. im not going to miss out on things just because im single. this is the mentality that i have had in the past two years of my single life. and im glad i think like that, or else i wouldve missed out on so much! i had a great time sitting by the lake in the park. im considering doing that every day around 9 at night. its a good way to end a way. then ill go back home and go to bed at 10.
in other news,
1)black eyeliner and masara look amazing with my new gray eyes!
2) i started taking vitamins.
3) i need to try a new hair shampoo and conditioner. its bad if i use the same one for too long. my hair might get too accustomed to it.
4) reading is so good. reading stuff that i care about is good. i was determined to read hillary clintons autobiography, but i cant get through all the political stuff. reading everything before and including the chapter with bill clinton is good enough for me.
5) im hungry and am about to cook up some food.

Friday, July 10, 2009

my heart is not broken. the matter is rather that i dont have a heart...
i have no love to give or love that i want to receive at this moment and time. =(

Thursday, July 9, 2009

argh! IM SO MAD. i won 3rd place of my age group on tuesday. i was 6 seconds slower than second place!!! who got a MUCH bigger prize than i did. 6 seconds!!!!!!!!!!! and it turned out, there were more female runners in my age group than i thought there were. next time.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

sooo tired. yesterday, i ran another race. as tired as i was, i still decided to go for it since i already paid the entrance fee. why waste money? lol it was definitely exhausting considering i got up at 5am and was on my feet all day and all that. surprising, i won 3rd place in my age group (18-24). although there were a lot of runners, there were probably only several people in my age group. so even though im not fast by any means, i still won an award. hahaha....
so i started working full time this week, since im done being trained. its pretty tiring and i feel like i dont have too much time to do much. argh! i got home around 9:30pm. i went shopping after work, and went to someones place and had dinner. good stuff. its now 10:07 and im about to go to bed.
i dont know whats going on with me this weekend. but i do know that i want to get drunk. as alcoholic as that sounds, i havent been drunk since rutgersfest. it feels like its been ages. *sigh*
when am i going skydiving?!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

thanks for teaching me what i consider one of the most important lessons in life. youve changed y life, even though you dont know it.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

How to Enjoy Being Alone

Part of my job as a pharmacy technician at Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital is delivering meds to medical units/floors. When I walk in the hallways, I always find myself looking into patients' rooms, to see what they are up to. I usually deliver meds from 11am - 1pm. So it's basically lunch time. Most of the patients usually do one of the three things: reading the paper, eating alone, staring at the TV. There are also a good number of patients who can't even do those things. They are so ill that they either sleep all day, or just stare into nothingness. The worst thing about these patients is that they get VERY few visitors, from what I know. From 11-am-1pm, maybe 10%, or less, of the patients have visitors. They're all alone most of the time.
I am 19 years old. I am turning 20 this November. In a way I am still young. I am still in college. I am living with my parents when I am not on campus. In another way, I am pretty old. In 5 years or less I might be on my own, moving out from my parents, and renting (hopefully buying) my own apartment. I don't see myself being married or living with a boyfriend in 5 years or so, which means I will be completely alone. Now remember that after college, friends that you see a lot on campus at college, high school friends who live close to you in your hometown in the summer, will not be physically close to you anymore. You guys might be in different states even. As a result, I assume that I will be pretty much alone. And that is what happens to people. This guy that I know who used to live in New Jersey moved down to another state post-college because his new job is there. He said he is so alone. His family and friends are not there.
No wonder people become loners post-college, and as they get older. They really have no choice, well, most of the time.
In the summer, I have to say I don't have too many social activities. I might hang out with friends here and there, twice a week or so. However most of the time, I am on my own. Luckily, being alone has never really been a problem for me, because of the way I was brought up. What is interesting is that as I grow older, I appreciate being alone more and more. Yesterday I was supposed to go to Ocean Grove for something, or a BBQ, but I chose neither. I chose to spend the day on my own. My parents were out of town too; therefore I was completely alone, for basically the whole weekend. My really close friend felt the need to hang out with me. She asked me to go with her to a BBQ that she was going to; she also asked if I wanted to just chill, or even to go to her family July 4th event with her. I told her I appreciate her trying to get me to socialize, but that I was perfectly fine being on my own. I enjoy my company. Honestly, I still think she felt bad for me since she was constantly checking up on me all of yesterday. I was, truthfully, perfectly fine.
I guess I really know how to enjoy my own company, which I am proud of, because I think people these days are just so damn clingy.
There are a little less than two months left until school starts up again. I want to use these 50 something days more effectively. I started reading the news (a little bit), watching documentaries, among other things. I just want to learn to use my time alone more effectively, isntead of just watching shows most of the time. I also want to enjoy the outdoor more.
To be specific, things are the things I should do:
1) Read, read, read.
Books and newspapers. In particular, I want to read autobiographies. I am choosing not to read fictions, because I do feel like gaining knowledge from reading. Not that you can't learn from fictions, but they are just stories and I want to gain substantial, concrete knowledge. Books that offer strong opinions are pretty good too. I once read a book that curses the medical system in America. Very interesting read. It definitely stirred up thoughts.
2) Running
Simply put, I just want to keep running. I am trying to run longer and faster. I am taking bigger strides than before which is good.
3) Biking
I've always enjoyed biking. Unfortunately ever since my accident last summer, I haven't had a bike to ride. I am definitely buying one once I get my next paycheck and feel like I have more money in my bank account.
4) My language program
Still gotta work on that arghhh, this is probably the one thing that I don't really look forward to doing. I gotta push myself.
5) Drawing. No painting, pencial drawings.
6) Swimming
The only place I have membership to is the Rutgers gym. But I have no parking permit!!! What to do?! I want to swim though.

Those are about the only things I could do, given that I do work four to five days a week now, I am pretty busy.

Plans for today:
Going out for a run
Buying more scrubs
Start reading newspaper
I will see what more I can do as the day goes on

Saturday, July 4, 2009

This week has been like a roller coaster. Not an emotional roller coaster, but definitely some kind of crazy roller coaster. I will update later on this week, it's been crazy.

20 Questions :
1--Thing you cannot leave the house without ? clothes&shoes. other than that i can leave the house without anything.
2--Favorite Brand of makeup? i rarely put on makeup. maybe five times a year.
3--Favorite Flower ? roses are pretty
4-- Fav clothing store? it changes. i liked abercrombie&fitch a lot last year. now i only go scrubs shopping. lol
5--Favorite Perfume ? ive been using victorias secret body sprays for as long as i can remember.
6--Heels or flats ? heels are hot, but im not a fan of putting my feet through pain just to look pretty.
7--Do you make good grades ? well, i guess i still make acceptable grades. lol
8--Favorite colors ? for some reasons, most of my clothes are white, black and grey. but now i try to buy clothes of bright colors. i like green, pink, yellow, favorite color. lol
9--Do you drink energy drinks ? no. even though i am a running fiend i dont drink energy drinks.
10--Do you drink juice ? i could. but i rarely drink juice.
11--Do you like swimming ? yes. i used to swim at least once a week last semester.
12--Do you eat fries with a fork ? no. fingers.
13--Favourite Moisturizer? i only got one. st. ives. i have no skin care routine and do like nothing to my skin. thats why i got a herbal facial today. it was pretty amazing. hahaa
14--Do you want to get married later on in life ? i guess, eventually. truthfully i dont see myself getting married before im like 28. i also dont see myself having a wedding. when i do get married eventually, i just want to get married in vegas or just go to city hall. no wedding for me. im not a wedding girl.
15--Do you get mad easily ? not really. lately nothing or no one can get me mad. ive been very emotionally out.
16--Are you into Ghost Hunting ? no. dont believe in ghost.
17-- Any phobias? people phobias.
18--Do you bite your nails ? occasionally
19--Have you ever had a near death experience? no.
20--Do you drink coffee ?