Thursday, February 25, 2010

i did something stupid last monday, then something even more stupid friday. now im stuck in this hole that i cant seem to get out. :(
i want to go backkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

a few things...
1) snow day today, though im not excited at all. i kinda wanted class actually...why?
2) the guy from booty text (refer to one of my earlier entries) just asked me to be his valentine. i dont like him at all...not in a romantic way i mean. he asked me if i liked him. i told him "i still dont know who i am and what i want to do, this is not the right time for me to date a guy." translation : i dont like you. but in all seriousness im proud of how i handled it. i used to be horrendous at rejecting guys. ive made quite a few guys cry....yeah.. my friend used to called the heartbreaker freshman year in ive gotten better at dealing with guys who confess their feelings to me. go me!!!
im not really excited about this valentines day dinner that we re going on (thurs, im spending the real vday with girls!!!). but what the hell? free food, anyone? =p soooooooooooo bad. how can i pass up food though???nope i cant. its sin to say no to food.
3) housing problems!!!!! noooooooo!!!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Once I start writing on the blog I just don't stop....
I was just thinking, this Valentine's Day will be the first time that I don't have a valentine since middle school! Wow, Jenny, Wow. I don't know how I feel about that. I guess I have mixed feelings. I will be spending it with two of my girlfriends (who are also dateless). I guess it's good in a way because at least they will be here for me in the long run whereas guys...come and go.
I can actually remember who bought me stuff and what they were on each Valentine's Day in the past six years. For my own interest, I would like to blog about it so that when I am 50 I can read about it and giggle...
2004 (freshman year in HS) - my first boyfriend ever bought me flowers! I believe he wrote me a card too.
2005 (sophomore year in HS) - This guy named Ed gave me a rose. He used to walk me from my locker to the where we waited for the buses every day after school lets out. Incidentally, I saw him last week on a Rutgers bus, he got fat....but then again who didn't? lol
2006 (junior year in HS) - my most serious ex didn't buy me anything for V day that year. He believed in "romance without finance". Those were his exact words. I remember asking him what he wants the day before and he said that he didn't want to exchange gifts. What a party pooper. However, we did exchange notes. Notes as in we wrote each other really long messages on paper and exchanged those. It was really sweet. After we broke up I destroyed everything, so obviously I don't have his note right now. I kinda wish I still had it...Also that year I also received gifts from two other guys. Lucky
2007 (senior year in HS) - By that point my ex and I weren't really doing well...but I think we still got together that day...hmm..I don't really remember what happened acutally..
2008 (freshman year in college) - I was STILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL somewhat involved with the same ex freshman year in college. Since he went to Lehigh (still goes to Lehigh I guess), we didn't see each other that day. But we webcammed. I visited him the weekend before V day. It was awful. I had to do it behind my parents' back so I didn't have a car. I spent 10 hours on public transportation that weekend. It was really awful. It takes roughly 1 hr and 20 min to drive from New Brunswick to Bethlehem, PA, but noooooo. I had to take...
1) Rutgers bus to the NB train station
2) Train to Newark Airport
3) Airtrain to go to the Transbridge (bus line) terminal in Newark airport
4) Transbridge Bus to Bethlehem, PA
5) Walk from the bus station to Lehigh University
That was just getting there....getting back was worse because I hit traffic...
ANYWAY, wow....
2009 (sophomore year in college) - This guy who used to like me asked me to be his valentine. Being the man-hater that I was, I told him straight up that I wasn't too excited and that I wasn't going to do anything for him (I was a bitch....). He bought me flowers anyway and delivered them to my dorm.

Well, I am not bitter about spending V day alone (with my girls!) this year. After all, I have matured a lot and have definitely found myself in the past few years. Not gonna lie, I won't be feeling my best when I see couples being lovey dovey on V day, but I will keep reminding myself that I love myself and that I am still on this never-ending journey of finding myself and that I believe I am becoming stronger every day.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Dear Rutgers,

You have never failed to screw me over. Every year around this time you make me mad, you make me cry, you make me want to slap a hoe. I just don't get this. How did you manage to screw me and my friends over three years in a row??!?!?! HOW???! All I want to do is to live in Richardson with my friends so that I can 1) walk to class in 5 minutes, 2) cook for my friends and myself because I am so amazing at it, 3) enjoy my last year of being an undergraduate with my non-pharmacy friends.
You left me with no choice. Now I am seriously considering being a commuter for the next two years.
Oh well, maybe you are trying to teach me a lesson. Maybe I should see the silver lining in everything. Maybe everything happens for a reason...?
Nah, as much as I try to believe the theory that everything happens for a reason, I don't. I always try to get the best that I can get. I will try my very best a find someone with a good lottery number so my two friends and I can live together, well, my current roommate and I at the very least. I will try to ask as many people as I humanly and socially can. I am signing up for I will do everything within my power. I don't want to commute, even though I live only 20 minutes away.
If everything fails....I know I will still live.
Thanks for giving me wrinkles on my forehead, Rutgers, as if I don't have enough shit to deal with right now. =(
What does not kill me makes me stronger, right?
Lastly, I just want to tell you that I will never donate money to you after I graduate. You don't deserve my money.
-A very disgruntled student