Sunday, July 5, 2009

How to Enjoy Being Alone

Part of my job as a pharmacy technician at Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital is delivering meds to medical units/floors. When I walk in the hallways, I always find myself looking into patients' rooms, to see what they are up to. I usually deliver meds from 11am - 1pm. So it's basically lunch time. Most of the patients usually do one of the three things: reading the paper, eating alone, staring at the TV. There are also a good number of patients who can't even do those things. They are so ill that they either sleep all day, or just stare into nothingness. The worst thing about these patients is that they get VERY few visitors, from what I know. From 11-am-1pm, maybe 10%, or less, of the patients have visitors. They're all alone most of the time.
I am 19 years old. I am turning 20 this November. In a way I am still young. I am still in college. I am living with my parents when I am not on campus. In another way, I am pretty old. In 5 years or less I might be on my own, moving out from my parents, and renting (hopefully buying) my own apartment. I don't see myself being married or living with a boyfriend in 5 years or so, which means I will be completely alone. Now remember that after college, friends that you see a lot on campus at college, high school friends who live close to you in your hometown in the summer, will not be physically close to you anymore. You guys might be in different states even. As a result, I assume that I will be pretty much alone. And that is what happens to people. This guy that I know who used to live in New Jersey moved down to another state post-college because his new job is there. He said he is so alone. His family and friends are not there.
No wonder people become loners post-college, and as they get older. They really have no choice, well, most of the time.
In the summer, I have to say I don't have too many social activities. I might hang out with friends here and there, twice a week or so. However most of the time, I am on my own. Luckily, being alone has never really been a problem for me, because of the way I was brought up. What is interesting is that as I grow older, I appreciate being alone more and more. Yesterday I was supposed to go to Ocean Grove for something, or a BBQ, but I chose neither. I chose to spend the day on my own. My parents were out of town too; therefore I was completely alone, for basically the whole weekend. My really close friend felt the need to hang out with me. She asked me to go with her to a BBQ that she was going to; she also asked if I wanted to just chill, or even to go to her family July 4th event with her. I told her I appreciate her trying to get me to socialize, but that I was perfectly fine being on my own. I enjoy my company. Honestly, I still think she felt bad for me since she was constantly checking up on me all of yesterday. I was, truthfully, perfectly fine.
I guess I really know how to enjoy my own company, which I am proud of, because I think people these days are just so damn clingy.
There are a little less than two months left until school starts up again. I want to use these 50 something days more effectively. I started reading the news (a little bit), watching documentaries, among other things. I just want to learn to use my time alone more effectively, isntead of just watching shows most of the time. I also want to enjoy the outdoor more.
To be specific, things are the things I should do:
1) Read, read, read.
Books and newspapers. In particular, I want to read autobiographies. I am choosing not to read fictions, because I do feel like gaining knowledge from reading. Not that you can't learn from fictions, but they are just stories and I want to gain substantial, concrete knowledge. Books that offer strong opinions are pretty good too. I once read a book that curses the medical system in America. Very interesting read. It definitely stirred up thoughts.
2) Running
Simply put, I just want to keep running. I am trying to run longer and faster. I am taking bigger strides than before which is good.
3) Biking
I've always enjoyed biking. Unfortunately ever since my accident last summer, I haven't had a bike to ride. I am definitely buying one once I get my next paycheck and feel like I have more money in my bank account.
4) My language program
Still gotta work on that arghhh, this is probably the one thing that I don't really look forward to doing. I gotta push myself.
5) Drawing. No painting, pencial drawings.
6) Swimming
The only place I have membership to is the Rutgers gym. But I have no parking permit!!! What to do?! I want to swim though.

Those are about the only things I could do, given that I do work four to five days a week now, I am pretty busy.

Plans for today:
Going out for a run
Buying more scrubs
Start reading newspaper
I will see what more I can do as the day goes on

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